Why are we afraid to talk about infertility?

Even in childhood, girls adopt the behaviour of their mothers, getting used to the role of future mothers. This translates into playing with dolls and dreaming of becoming a mother in the future. Of course, as children, it never occurred to any of us that a serious diagnosis such as infertility might stand in the way of complete happiness.

Every year in the modern world diagnosed more and more cases of infertility. Particularly in Ukraine, according to statistics, every 4 couples face certain problems in conception. And many couples perceive it as a personal tragedy, forgetting that infertility is just a disease, which can be treated as any other.

It is because of a lack of awareness that it is not common for us to talk about infertility, as this would cause constant sympathetic stares. Unfortunately, our people still perceive infertility as a verdict, which can neither be corrected nor cured.

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The seriousness of the problem lies also in the fact that often even couples are unable to discuss their problem amongst themselves. This indicates a fundamentally wrong approach to infertility. But why does this happen?


The instinct to procreate is inherent in nature. This is probably why we take the diagnosis of infertility as a serious blow, because it seems to make us inferior. And although today infertility is not treated as barbarically as it was back in the days when men did not want a woman who could not conceive, our patriarchal society usually automatically assumes that infertility is a woman’s fault.

And that’s all – despite the fact that both halves may have problems conceiving. Furthermore, very rarely is infertility absolute, that is, it cannot be corrected for further natural conception. As a result, instead of fighting for their happiness and continuing with treatment, or adopting a baby, they give up and go with the flow.

Fear of pity

Combined with pride, this prevents us from talking about infertility, because those closest to us will start to feel sorry for us. In addition, such people often find solace in other things, such as careers or personal interests.


Another reason for not talking out loud about a problem is an unwillingness to deal with it. Some people are too infantile to take the problem seriously and solve it on their own. For them, the treatment process itself seems like an unbearable nightmare, and they prefer to leave it alone.

Of course, infertility is a very personal issue and a couple has every right not to talk about it. But it is important that it is a voluntary decision and not a social pressure. You should not be afraid to say that you are undergoing a long and difficult process of treatment for the sake of happiness – at least you can tell your loved ones that you are happy.